am I going CRAZY!!

Ok so I am writing this out of pure need to share my thoughts and get everything off my chest. Yesterday I was at work and all of a sudden was overcome by nausea and got up and had to walk it off... after about 2 hours I decided that I just wasn't feeling well and went home... I got on the train... quite crowded at 4pm and as normal proceeded to play my ipod and be absorbed by my mag... though i started to notice a woman who regularly gets on the train abusing other riders... this woman has some mental disorder and I think everyone who gets on the ipswich line has come across her and of course no one is ever rude to her, but she was doing her block... my mother has bipolar and recently we had a bit of an upset with her and I have been quite stressed since. When this woman kept going and going yesterday I just felt overwhelmed... like the carriage closed in on me... I got off at my station - just... felt sick in the guts...

went to a friends and thought I was having an asthma attack... after it settled i drove home and then it came on again... or maybe I was still stressing and just stressed myself out about how I was feeling... anyway I tried to get into my normal doctors and they were booked out so I went to a local one near home. I immediately thought the doctor looked dodgy (thats another story) and he immediately said you had a panic attack, I can't help you, you've got problems in the head... has this or that happened to you blah blah... I was like I paid you $60 to tell me fuck all... I was like check my vitals, what sypmtoms do I have to have that?? he was no help... he did prescribe me on some anti-depressants though and suggested I come back in 2 weeks...

I had a horrible night... came home and proceeded to ring my friend and cry my eyes out...

I mean that made me more upset... Although we have a history of mental illness in my family I DONT WANT TO BE ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO SUFFER FROM IT.... i've seen with my mums experience in particular how hard it is... I pray that thats not what I am going through....

I have felt varied levels of depression for sometime now though and I think it may have stemmed back to when I was pregnant... I remembered trying to get help from the hospital during my pregnancy saying that I felt depressed like something was wrong with me...

Anyway so today I went back to my normal, kindhearted doctor... she made me feel heaps better... turns out she thinks that I may have some sort of reflux situation that makes me feel upset in the stomach (which has been happening for the past week or so) and that because of that I feel other sypmtoms and that I just got a bit panicy because of all of it at once...

Did I mention that at the time I felt off at work that the aircon was playing up and it was stuffy and that I also was reading about that qantas disaster shit... I have to fly in 2 weeks to WA so ok it freaked me out alot...

so my doctor gave me some tablets for the reflux and after I took 1 I felt a little better... I am not moving mountains now but I did notice a slight change. So we'll see how I go... She said she didn't think it was a serious panic attack nor depression etc as I was feeling just fine in the morning. Actually I normally feel great, like I love living and feel blessed with most aspects of my life, I just can't grasp why yesterday happened...

I booked an appointment with a naturopath next week. I want to get as much help as possible to get me through this time. and especially help my fly to WA for my brothers wedding...

On the weight front, had my first take away today... KFC it was great too, only had 6 nuggets, forgoed the chips and soft drink and I was content with that...

anyways has anyone else experienced something like this... please share...
take care....